Friday, March 22, 2013

Ladies and Gentlemen...

While I am convalescing it is important to keep my two hooligans busy. They are having a hard time with my current situation to be honest. Worried that I am permanently down and out they teeter between filling my bed with Legos to keep me entertained and / or fist fighting on top of me to get my attention. I do my best to leave things out to distract and entertain them in hopes of a few minutes of zzzzzz's.

We put together an "invention box" shortly before I went in for the slice n dice. An invention box (or in our case basket) is a place where you can store the tubes out of wrapping paper rolls, empty milk cartons, egg cartons, scrap material etc etc. The basket is a creative free-for-all for the kids. They can dig through it and make awesome inventions out of items that would otherwise end up in the recycling or a landfill. I also include items like tape and glue sticks. It is a super easy thing to do, grab a basket or box and start filling it with interesting items that will get their imaginations going.

Below is a circus we made out of old boxes and birthday tags, and a board game that I had picked up but never did anything with. They seem to be as entertained by this as store bought items. More actually because they get to engineer the whole set up (with a bit of art direction of course).  


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

An Angel and a Unicorn...

So it has been a little over a week since I went in for a lift, a reduction and abdominoplasty and let me assure you (despite waking up with a twenty year olds boobs) it has not been all giggling on Percs and trying on tiny new brassieres. Nope. I have been knocked on my unaltered by a knife (and most likely gonna stay that way) ass. The lift alone would have been easy enough to recover from, but the stomach is going to take another week or so to do anything much but lay here watching Netflix and drinking tea. I am super impressed with what my doctor has done, everything is back up North and flatter than it was before I had kids. It may just take a few weeks for me to feel up to slapping on a crop top and doing high kicks in town square. Do not worry, that will happen. Eventually.

I had said I would keep you posted on what I have learned so far...

They sharpie marker a game plan right on you just before they put you under, which I guess makes more sense than freestyl'n it. They will offer you meds right off and throughout your stay in hospital. Don't be a hero, take two of the good stuff every four hours as needed. That being said I don't get what all the hillbillies and housewives are on about re. Oxy's. Maybe I was doing it wrong but it surely wasn't life altering. Be prepared for stitches and staples. A no brainier you would think, but if you are the squeamish type that first shower will be an eye opener. I have a brand new belly button. Yup, the doc fashioned a new one (as the old one would have ended up somewheres on my back with all the tugging and pulling). I am told it was made out of some leftover boobs (mine) he had laying around. Again, vaguely gross, but I once heard that very few good things in this world happen because an angel kisses a unicorn. Pretty much sums up this whole situation quite nicely.

So I am bed ridden for a bit longer. I have my mom here, which is the ideal situation cause only she could make me do things I have no intention on doing. My kids are keeping me entertained when they are not fist fighting on top of me. I am sore, but on the road to recovery. Life is good. 

Some shots from my recovery location...xo

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Sunny side up please...

When I found out I was having twins my husband Paul was in South Africa. I waited two whole weeks for him to come home so I could hand him an ultra-sound shot of his first child, and then of his second. Once he recovered a bit I waited about ten mississippi's to yell the following words...

My kids are now five and they are the absolute best thing I have ever done (or will do).  I have 0 regrets carrying them, or feeding them, I will however say this - the little boogers left a hot mess in their wake. A train wreck of a stomach and boobs that resemble two sacks of wet garbage.
I work with a personal trainer, which has been great for certain areas, but the bottom line is - unless gravity lets up a bit, or I figure out how to DIY a zipper into the fanny pack of skin I now get to carry around (therefore making it useful) I will be stuck with a body that makes me unhappy forever. 

So, tomorrow at 7:45am I will be getting a reduction, a lift and abdominoplasty. It has been a long time coming, and I am a little nervous (and certainly not looking forward to a few weeks of discomfort) but also super stoked that I actually just went ahead and booked it. 
I am telling everyone because A. that is just how I roll and B. who is going to believe that I bench pressed my way to size C perkies? Nobody is that dumb.
I will keep you posted on the details as I go along. If you have any questions about these surgeries or the recovery etc. please feel free to ask.

What I have learned so far...

Plastic surgeons are not big on the high five. When explaining to your children what you are about to do you probably shouldn't yell "BECAUSE YOU TOTALLY WRECKED MY BOOBS"! it might come up later in a therapists office. I have an awesome and helpful family. My husband is super happy with me the way I am, and is in mourning a little this week - which just proves that I did marry a really awesome dude.
And finally, in your initial consult if your surgeon suggests that "sometimes when you renovate your kitchen the living room ends up looking a bit shabby as a result" he is fishing for more surgeries. Yes, this is how I decided to go full meal deal - but be careful, from what I understand it is a slippery but short slope to Joan Rivers town.

Wish me luck, talk soon...xo

eggs by g4ll4is