Wednesday, March 13, 2013

An Angel and a Unicorn...

So it has been a little over a week since I went in for a lift, a reduction and abdominoplasty and let me assure you (despite waking up with a twenty year olds boobs) it has not been all giggling on Percs and trying on tiny new brassieres. Nope. I have been knocked on my unaltered by a knife (and most likely gonna stay that way) ass. The lift alone would have been easy enough to recover from, but the stomach is going to take another week or so to do anything much but lay here watching Netflix and drinking tea. I am super impressed with what my doctor has done, everything is back up North and flatter than it was before I had kids. It may just take a few weeks for me to feel up to slapping on a crop top and doing high kicks in town square. Do not worry, that will happen. Eventually.

I had said I would keep you posted on what I have learned so far...

They sharpie marker a game plan right on you just before they put you under, which I guess makes more sense than freestyl'n it. They will offer you meds right off and throughout your stay in hospital. Don't be a hero, take two of the good stuff every four hours as needed. That being said I don't get what all the hillbillies and housewives are on about re. Oxy's. Maybe I was doing it wrong but it surely wasn't life altering. Be prepared for stitches and staples. A no brainier you would think, but if you are the squeamish type that first shower will be an eye opener. I have a brand new belly button. Yup, the doc fashioned a new one (as the old one would have ended up somewheres on my back with all the tugging and pulling). I am told it was made out of some leftover boobs (mine) he had laying around. Again, vaguely gross, but I once heard that very few good things in this world happen because an angel kisses a unicorn. Pretty much sums up this whole situation quite nicely.

So I am bed ridden for a bit longer. I have my mom here, which is the ideal situation cause only she could make me do things I have no intention on doing. My kids are keeping me entertained when they are not fist fighting on top of me. I am sore, but on the road to recovery. Life is good. 

Some shots from my recovery location...xo

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